The
first support community we join as human beings is our Family unit. Service members
thrive best with support from their Families, and Families in turn cope better with
their Service member’s active participation in helping the family stay strong in
the face of unique challenges they face as part of the National Guard community.
Because the wellness of Family unit hinges on the wellness of all the individuals
involved, it’s important to seek ways to keep your Family connected, healthy, and
united.
What does “Family Wellness” Mean?
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Family Wellness means setting a good example through healthy behavior
and creating a safe, stable environment for children during deployments
Setting a good example with your behaviors helps children adopt
good behaviors and habits themselves. Children are more likely to listen and respond
positively when you are a good listener and act in ways that promote good choices.
An added benefit: teaching your kids to make good choices will create a more peaceful
household for you!
Creating a safe, stable environment for children is critical for
maintaining family wellness, especially during a parent or sibling’s deployment.
Children who feel safe, loved, and supported are less likely to develop behavioral
or emotional issues, and sustain better health and social interactions.
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Family Wellness means devoting time to your family and being
an active participant in your household.
Devoting time to your family reasserts that you are emotionally
available to your loved ones when they need you, building feelings of trust, affection,
and loyalty. Families that spend time together are closer, more loving, and weather
changes with greater ease than families that associate superficially.
Being an active participant in your household may be difficult
if you’re coping with multiple or long-term separations. However, National Guard
members that cannot contribute to household chores, financial obligations, or child-rearing
due to separations can set up routines and strategies the family can maintain while
they are away.
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Family Wellness means being flexible and compromising when possible
and putting family first when confronted with a choice between
acting in self interest or in interest of the family:
Being flexible and compromising when conflict arises in your family
helps sustain family unity and avoid serious conflicts. Couples and families that
master the art of compromise express mutual respect for one another and tend to
experience less stress and anxiety related to arguments.
Putting family first can be achieved in a number of ways. For healthy
families, that includes practicing forgiveness, opening up to your loved ones, recognizing
when members of your family need help, and making good lifestyle choices that support
your entire family (instead of just you).
Signs of Family Distress
- Inflexibility and unwillingness to compromise
- Increased impatience and irritability between family members
- Domestic Violence
- Sexual, physical abuse
- Neglect
- Spouse/partner infidelity
- Poor financial decision-making
- Lack of routines
- Poor self-care/care of family members
- Acts of self-interest without concern for family wellbeing
Tips for Improving Family Wellness
- Get closer to your spouse. A healthy marriage can create a strong
foundation for your household, affecting all the areas that impact your family including
your health, finances, children, and community. If you and your partner are experiencing
marital problems, programs are available in the National Guard to strengthen your
relationship.
- Set aside special family time during the week. Plan a game night,
go to the movies together, and tell bedtime stories – these all qualify as ways
to share your time with your family. If you’re on a deployment, communicate as often
as you can to let your loved ones know that they’re on your mind and in your heart.
- Families who eat together, stay together. This tip relates closely
to the one before it, except it refers more closely to doing the little things together
in addition to special out-of-the ordinary things. Creating routines that involve
all the members of your family – like getting together for dinner – is a way to
create stability and instantly fit family togetherness into your day.
- Practice good communication. Good listening skills and open and
honest communication are basic components of family wellness. Confiding in your
loved ones will also help you feel supported. As a Service member, this may include
sharing information about your service to the National Guard with your loved ones
in order to ease fears and prepare them for potential separations.
- Get to know your State/Territory Family Resources. The National
Guard provides a number of local resources for you and your family, found through
the JSS Resource Finder, including your Family Readiness Group, Director of Psychological
Health, and more. To learn more about national programs the National Guard Bureau
offers, peruse any of the sites on the Joint Services Support main page.