Service
members often refer to their unit as a “second family” who they can turn to for
support, friendship, and even protection. It’s not unusual for a recently reintegrated
Service member to feel as though that support community has disappeared after returning
from deployment, as they are no longer surrounded by their unit. For this reason,
it’s important for Service members to pursue social wellness - find friendship and
support in both their military and civilian lives, feel a sense of belonging, and
cultivate respect for others.
What does “Social Wellness” mean?
- Social Wellness means using good communication skills and actively
seeking opportunities to connect with others in a personal way:
Good communication skills are important part of understanding others
and being understood. Socially well individuals are respectful and authentic with
others, generously sharing their thoughts, stories and feelings and noticing when
it’s better to listen than to speak.
Seeking opportunities to connect with others is a means to maintain
and create relationships, and an indication of ease and comfort in social situations.
Whether through social networking sites, at social gatherings among friends and
family, or over the phone, socially well individuals are active participants in
their relationships.
- Social Wellness means developing healthy attachments and knowing
how to cope with unhealthy relationships:
Developing healthy attachments as opposed to unhealthy attachments
is an important differentiation to make when discussing social wellness. Healthy
attachments are characterized by mutual respect, equal give and take, and the overall
positive influence the attachment has on the lives of those involved in the relationship.
Coping with unhealthy relationships can be just as important as
maintaining good relationships. Socially well individuals can recognize when a relationship
is harmful to them and is able to part from negative relationships (or, if a total
separation isn’t possible insert a fair amount of distance between themselves and
the other person).
- Social Wellness means respecting others and performing
social roles according to the needs of your family members, employers,
and community:
Respecting others assists in forming authentic relationships based
on openness, trust, and understanding. Socially well individuals treat all connections
courteously and openly, and do not pass judgment on others based on race, sex, religion
or ethnicity, choosing to explore diversity in their social interactions instead.
Performing social roles is similar to fulfilling a position description
for your job. Your social roles include your position in your military assignment,
your relationship to your family members, or obligations to the community. Being
a good parent, responding well to superior officers, abiding by the Law are all
examples of social wellness.
Signs of Social Distress
- Lack of meaningful relationships
- All-consuming relationships
- Irrational defiance or hostility
- Physically abusive behavior
- Disrespect for family, peers
- Isolation from others
- Manipulation, lying, stealing
- Anxiety or nervousness in social situations
- Limited and/or poor communication with family and friends
- Feelings of worthlessness
Tips for Improving Social Wellness
- Make time for your family and friends. In the same way you might
set aside money for every day expenses, you should set aside time and emotion for
your family and friends. Being physically and emotionally available to others doesn’t
just make you a good friend; it ensures that when you’re in need, your friends and
family will be there to return the favor.
- Get plugged in. Technology has made it convenient to connect with
family and friends anytime, anywhere. Sharing your life with friends on Facebook
and Twitter, using Skype, and choosing mobile packages that benefit your family
and friends can help keep you in the loop even if you’re on a deployment. (Just
make sure you’re practicing OPSEC while you’re surfing the information highway!)
- Practice being an extrovert. Start by saying ‘hello’ to someone
you’ve seen before, but never greeted. Shake hands, introduce yourself, help someone
with a task, or volunteer your time or talents. These are all small ways to extend
yourself into your community and expand your social circle.
- Know yourself. Do you often find yourself in an unbalanced or unhealthy
relationship? Are your relationships fulfilling? Does opening up to others about
yourself make you anxious or uncomfortable? Maintaining awareness of your patterns,
wants and needs will help you maintain the right relationships, find support, and
enjoy a healthy social life.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate! Communication is the primary
way to forge a connection with others – doing it in ways that strengthen mutual
respect and affection can only reward you. Learn to listen, share, and act honestly,
knowing that good friends and family will appreciate and respect you for who you
are!